The Big, Happy, Merry Winter Holiday Movie-List Post [EDIT]

The world is turning away from the sun here in the northern hemisphere. It gets dark sooner. Leaves have dropped. Bare limbs reach up like claws silhouetted against the pale gray of the sky. People have retreated from the unwelcoming chill of outdoors into the safety and warmth of the indoors. Winter is here. But it doesn't all have to be beheadings and Night Kings. There's always revelries to be had. And revelries need a good flick to accompany them.

Since many of my holiday movie lists have so far diverged from what most would consider "popular", "normal", or even sane, it should come as no surprise that my Christmas list would follow suit. Rather than the more treacly holiday fare, I find myself turning to the sarcastic, bizarre, and downright disturbing. Enjoy.

Solstice...and a word on the holiday monopoly

Did you know that there aren't any films out there focused on the Winter Solstice? Or Hannukah...or Kwanzaa...or Diwali, or any others. I looked. That's sad to me...but maybe it's not. As Westerners, and especially humans, we assume that our way should be others' way. Perhaps the need to express our ideologies through popular media is the province of Western religion, and Christianity in particular. Perhaps those of other faiths are okay with not having their own faith-themed movies or TV specials. And maybe they're not. Either way, the lack of representation is overwhelming.

So, here in the Northwestern hemisphere, don't count on finding any movies celebrating the darkest night or the return of the sun. Christmas, as you may have suspected, has the monopoly on this time. That said, you can always celebrate by watching films set in winter. I'll be doing a "winter" list come the new year, but in the meantime, I do have one pick for this dark, quiet little holiday:

Thanksgiving: The Perfect Time ....to Sit on Your Ass [EDIT]

Ah, Thanksgiving. It's a time for feasting. Family. Parades...at least in every Thanksgiving movie you've ever seen.

...wait. What Thanksgiving movies? Are there any?

It is my not so humble opinion that there is, in fact, a dearth of Thanksgiving-themed movies. That is not necessarily a bad thing. It does make the concept of a Thanksgiving movie playlist, however, a little bit harder to pull off. I shall endeavor to achieve this goal.

Now, if you have been reading this blog since its inception at the beginning of October, then you probably read my post on October/Halloween movie-viewing. It was there that I actually began the "November" movie playlist with a number of ideas for the Day of the Dead, as well as a perfect Guy Fawkes Day suggestion of  V for Vendetta (again, humble). As such, I won't be reiterating those. The beginning of November, after all, doesn't really feel like the end of November, does it? Somewhere between Jack o'Lanterns and Turkeys, we shift inexorably into the "Holiday" season. Whatever stores had held out until the ghosts and goblins vacated are now in full swing with their rabid displays and "last-minute" sales pitches. Any semblance of normalcy will simply have to wait for another couple of months. So, it's sometimes hard to feel as though Thanksgiving even has its own identity as a holiday. It's almost more of an extension of the upcoming festivities, as the end of November railroads straight through the end of the year. And with the Ghost of Christmas Everything looming over our shoulder (even if one doesn't celebrate it), a bird with a death sentence can hardly be expected to pull focus, can it?

Another possible reason for the dearth of movies centered around this holiday is a decided lack of stakes. It's not a present-oriented holiday, like birthdays, or a candy-oriented holiday, like Easter; nor is it a particularly spiritual holiday (grace not withstanding). It is, in this day and age, a holiday centered around FOOD. There are several TV shows that have capitalized on this over the years, focusing on the homeless' lack thereof. Many times, it's an obvious bid on the part of the characters to look like good persons; most times, it almost always comes off a bit treacly. [How I Met Your Mother does a particularly obnoxious take on this, and I'm pretty sure that Growing Pains did about twelve episodes like this in the '80s.] In the end it doesn't feel like anything has changed, either in the characters, or in the viewer. The real issue of people struggling in life gets shunted aside in favor of momentary character development that doesn't stick. Christmas does this, too, though spiritual overtones are often shoehorned in to add some weight. So that might be part of the reason.

Oh, and let's not forget that whole indigenous culture appropriation and genocide. That could be part of it. Yeah.

Still, Thanksgiving is mostly a jump off holiday to get consumers going. The first round of holiday movies that will be in theaters through the end of the year are released. And let us not forget Black Friday, otherwise known as Satan's Asshole (no, wait, that's the DMV). So it's no wonder that Thanksgiving as a font of inspiration doesn't hit home for many. After all, by the time all is said and done, it's mostly just about the food and parades, isn't it? So bring on the food coma and hand me the remote. It's binge time....

Top Halloween Picks: A List For Just About Everyone [EDIT]

I've always sort of...shunned horror movies. Many of the plots carry the curse of formulaic contrivance. Rather than approaching things from a deeper psychological standpoint, too many focus on the two horror tropes I dislike most (Unnecessary Blood & Gore and the Jump Scare). On top of that, people are so stupid in these movies, that I find myself rooting for the monsters and serial killers. And what is up with the obsession with rape scenes? No, thank you. Worst of all, these movies still scare the bejesus out of me, no matter how crappy and unbelievable they are. And that means I suffer on multiple levels. [Je suis pas venue ici pour souffrir, ok?]

In fact, for the majority of my life, I could sum up my feelings about horror movies with this Eddie Murphy skit:

So I set out to do an alternative Halloween movie list, something for the non-horror movie fans like myself. But as I researched the movies I like, discuss, and would recommend at this time of year, I began to realize something: there are a lot of scary movies I do like. They may not be classified "horror," but they is most certainly an element of fear to them. More than that, I realized how connected to my fascination with darkness they are, and how my appreciation for them as an art form had grown since my younger years (you know, the ones where hiding under the covers with the tiny opening for air was still considered socially acceptable). The list kept getting larger, like some kind of blob monster. I had fallen down the ole rabbit hole, and this piece became one part sociological and historical treatise, one part incomplete "faves" list, one part anecdotal rambling...and one part referential metaphors.

...Which is pretty much how I talk, so... At any rate, I thought I'd warn you... like so many horror movies do right before everything goes terribly terribly wrong. Enjoy!

Fear: The Original Monster

Like for so many others, Halloween is my favorite holiday. That makes October my favorite month. Aside from All Hallows' Eve, October marks the true beginning of Autumn for the Northern Hemisphere. Leaves begin to turn in earnest. We go from the late summer heat of August & September to a crisp coolness and begin preparations for the long sleep of Winter. In short, the earth prepares for death.

For millennia, humans have celebrated the cycles of life on all sides of the planet. Autumn marks the final harvest and, while animals prepare for the long slumber of hibernation, plants enter their final stage of life. However, death is not the end. After the long sleep of winter, we have rebirth with the emergence of spring and a new breeding season. Early humans were aware of this and held rites to mark the various stages throughout the seasons. They celebrated and paid respects to the gods, ancestors, and plants and creatures that were a part of their very survival. Mostly, though, they told stories. These stories had everything: adventure, love, origins of the universe, heroes doing great deeds and making sacrifices, life and death....and fear.

The Legend of The Princess Bride: 30th Anniversary

I'm going to tell you a fairy tale.

Once upon a time, a somewhat obscure little movie was released to very little fanfare. It did its stint in the theaters, garnering a modest - though by no means unrespectable - box office for fall of 1987, and then began its trek to video stores and cable. 

It was called The Princess Bride. 

This movie was ridiculous. Based on a book by William Goldman (who also wrote the screenplay), the premise followed a grandfather's reading of a fairy tale story to his sick grandson. The story itself contained pirates, sword-fights, giants, giant rodents, a pit of despair (because who doesn't need one of those), true love, and a near Python-esque humor. It was too self-aware, too meta decades too early. (80's movies, with few notable exceptions, weren't generally well-known for awareness and introspection.) This fairy tale was lacking in magic & magical creatures and had an overabundance of dry wit, self-deprecation, and zaniness.

It wasn't a surprise that this movie hadn't been popular. One look at the poster probably told people too little to know what they were getting into, and movie trailers were still transitioning from the structure of yesteryear to what we recognize today, making it likely that it might have turned people off, rather than persuading them. Worse yet, that summer had a hellish release schedule, with Adventures in Babysitting, Innerspace, Full Metal Jacket, RoboCop, La Bamba, The Living Daylights, The Lost Boys, and sequels for Jaws, Revenge of the Nerds, and Superman, all opening in July alone. This was followed the rest of the summer by Stakeout, Can't Buy Me Love, Dirty Dancing, The Big Easy, Fatal Attraction, Hellraiser, and The Pick-up Artist.

People were exhausted. A weird little meta-comedy about fairy tales may have been too much as folks settled back into their autumn [read: school] routines. And that should have been the end of it.

But instead of fading into obscurity, something else happened to this funny little movie. It turned out that this peculiar fairy tale had not come and gone without notice. People who had seen it in the theaters had contributed to its numbers by telling their friends, co-workers, random people on the street, that they needed to see this movie. And when it came out on video, people caught on. They started talking about it. They started quoting it...and they refused to stop. And then it hit cable...

This is where I come in....

Posts coming soon!

Posts coming soon!

Posts coming soon!

Posts coming soon!